Foster Care is for the Faint of Heart - and so is Adoption

Eva always knew she would become a foster parent. Growing up in foster care with her brother, she experienced firsthand the profound impact a stable home could have on a child’s life. It shaped her so deeply that on her very first date with Steve, her now husband of 18 years, she told him fostering was a life goal.

Today, Eva and Steve are parents to one biological daughter, two adopted children, and three more pending adoption. Over the years, they’ve opened their home and hearts to countless foster children, providing not just shelter but love, stability, and the possibility of forever. For some children, that forever has meant reunifying safely with their families. For others, it has meant adoption, providing a permanent home, a permanent family, a permanent place to belong.

Fostering has brought joy, connection, and countless moments of growth, but it has also brought heartache. Eva recalls the story of Callie, a little girl they fostered for two years. When Callie first arrived, she was guarded and uncommunicative. Her tough exterior reflected the challenges she had endured. But over time, through consistency, safety, and love, she began to flourish. By the time she left to reunite with her biological family, she was speaking, smiling, and thriving.

The day Callie left was bittersweet. As she said her goodbyes, she placed her small hand on Eva’s face and whispered, “Don’t worry, Mama, I’ll be back.” It wasn’t just a goodbye; it was a promise.

After she left, the flowers she had given the family remained on the counter, drying slowly, becoming a quiet symbol of hope and healing.

Eighteen months later, when Callie did return to their home, it wasn’t just a reunion; it was a reminder of the life-changing impact foster care can have. For children like Callie, the love they experience in a foster home stays with them, whether they return for a season or, for many children, become part of that family forever through adoption.

Eva and Steve’s home has become a place where children eat dinner together, do homework, grow, heal, and find a family, even if only for a short time. While reunification remains the ultimate goal of foster care, their experience also reflects another truth: sometimes, adoption becomes the next chapter, a chapter filled with permanence, belonging, and unconditional love.

“I think for us, we never expected it to be this big… one kid, maybe two kids. But when you meet the children, and even if they're placed for just a moment or they're placed and then they come back, you fall in love with them… you want to see them get older, right? You want to see them grow, even if they go home,” Eva explained.

And yes, it breaks your heart. But Eva believes that’s exactly the point.

“I remember recently someone said to me, ‘I could never do that. It would break my heart.’ And I said, ‘Then you're the person who's supposed to do it, right? It’s supposed to break your heart. You're supposed to love them so much that it feels like you lost your baby. But you're also supposed to love them enough to want the very best for them — whether that’s going home or joining a new family forever.’”

Foster care isn’t easy, and adoption isn’t either. But both are deeply worthwhile. They are journeys filled with love, heartbreak, resilience, and joy, paths not just for the brave but for the faint of heart willing to love so fully that it leaves them forever changed. 

Learn more about foster care and adoption, and discover how you can make an impact.