A Conversation No Parent Wants, But Every Child Needs

Our hearts are with Evergreen High School in Colorado and Annunciation Catholic School in Minneapolis, MN, as the community grieves the recent school shooting. Events like this are heartbreaking and deeply unsettling, not just for adults, but for children. Many parents and caregivers are left wondering: How do I talk to my kids about something so frightening?

Jaimie Clayton, President and CEO of Oakland Family Services, recently spoke with Paul W. Smith on the radio about how parents can navigate these difficult conversations. She shared guidance to help children feel supported, informed, and safe during times of uncertainty.

One of the most important first steps is to ask open-ended questions. Children often hear about tragic events from friends, social media, or even overhearing adult conversations. Asking what they know helps you understand their perspective and gently correct any misinformation.

When responding, use age-appropriate and accurate language. Younger children may only need reassurance and simple explanations, while older children may want to discuss details and ask tough questions. No matter their age, listening closely and letting them set the pace of the conversation shows that you value their feelings.

Open lines of communication are key. Children need to know they can come back to you with more questions or worries.

Remind them of the safety protocols in place at school and help them identify safe adults they can turn to if they feel anxious.

Above all, make sure your child feels safe and supported. Check in with them about any fears or anxieties, especially as they prepare to return to school. Reassure them that school is not only a place of learning, but also a community where teachers and staff are there to protect and care for them.

These conversations aren’t easy, but they matter! By listening, guiding, and offering reassurance, you help your child process difficult emotions in a healthy way.

If you or your child needs additional support, Oakland Family Services offers compassionate therapy services through DayOne for children, teens, and families. Our team is here to walk alongside you during challenging times and provide tools for healing and resilience.